I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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