All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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