I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
