I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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