Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
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She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
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He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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