Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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