And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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