Got a toothbrush?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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