just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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