when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm like, not good at living.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
