I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
