No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
