Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize