Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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