I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
