Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
