im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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