I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
