His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
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Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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