the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
