the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's never too late to be topless.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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