just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Green mimosas i think yes
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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