Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
