i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
