my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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