someone owes me an orgasm
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize