I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
