i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
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I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
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Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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