Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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