fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
