You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
