we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize