toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
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i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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