Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
