whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
