so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
