my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
