My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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