i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
