I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
