Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
