how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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