we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
