Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
