He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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