3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
