I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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