We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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