Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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