As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
