I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
