If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
ttyl tear gas
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
