would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize