Do you still have your period?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
