why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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