Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
