She is in my trunk
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
