Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
third nipple confirmed
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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