Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
