Just fell off a train. Bad.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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