We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
