I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
