u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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