You really coming over, don't trick.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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