butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Don't make out with my wife yet
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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