I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
