Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
