i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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